Saturday, August 31, 2002

Mr Kerrigan told me that Aintree was one of three centres doing most of this work in the UK. Sheffield and Leeds being the other two sites. Go and have a look at the Leeds website. I think it presents the info in a real down to earth no-nonsense way. Compared to the USA Bariatric surgery over here is really a small speciality. I think the recently produced NICE guidelines will make a difference. Some docs and managers look on this as cosmetic surgery, Mr K describes it as a surgical intervention to prevent diabetes. Looked at that way it begins to make economic sense.
Thanks for those two posts Ally, your mum will be dead chuffed, and just for the record I am completely up the wall as well as her. More people have started looking at the blog as we get ready for round two next week. I think its tiime to increase the education content of the site. Starting here would be good ASO a British site seems to talk a lot of sense about the obesity epidemic as a whole.

Friday, August 30, 2002

Dad bet u didnt think i was goin to keep writin this did you?
Hey Ally again Dad is goin in next week when i am in school (damn!) and mum is completely up the wall as far as i can tell.
Jean has just spoken to Mr K's secretary, we have a green light for Wednesday next week, need to contact the ward on Monday to see if they want me in on Tuesday or Wednesday. Top news, at least we have something to plan around

Now with added titles

just messin about.
Spoken to Mr Kerrigans secretary this morning. Says she will ring me back after 12.30 to let me know when it will be...either next wednesday or the week after......we don't like the sound of that.
Bariatric is a confusing word, I defined it earlier but people mishear or get it wrong. What its not
Balearic surgery - presumably something to do with Ibiza
Barometric Surgery - Something to do with air pressure -(thanks to Paul Hackett)
Barbaric surgery -said the spell checker, have you seen the video.
Hyperbaric surgery - the surgeon wears a divers suit
Geriatric surgery - presumably when they remove an old person from your stomach.
I started with pain in my right foot last night, this morning its hot red and swollen. I think its the gout returned. Now, before everyone starts thinking yeah, big man, port drinker type thoughts here are some links fact sheet, american. Both of which cite overweight and alcohol as predisposing factors....doh! My GP just rang and its the 3rd attack in four years. Blood test and another medication. Did I mention its really painful.

Thursday, August 29, 2002

This version has spellchecking software on - if I can remember to use it. It doesnt like Spellchecking it suggested Selpulchering instead. I like spell checkers especially for names, I used to work with a woman called Ans Dodd or Anus Dodo as the computer insisted.Oh no this could lead to me entering peoples names and seeing what comes up, last time I did that it went on for weeks. I'll stop at Ans.
Upgraded my blogger software and paid to have the adverts taken off the site. Should be more reliable and less chance of being hijacked by stray Arab porn sites (sorry Val).
bigboy beds - Aintree has one bed which was in use when I arrived. The standard NHS bed is 160kg capacity. The lifting and handling co-ordinator was on leave. They ordered a bed which arrived on Wednesday it was an earlier version of one of these said to cost a thousand pounds a day to rent.
In the Sefton Suite they do one of these bariatric ops a week. They therefore need access to some bigboy equipment. Lets consider wheelchairs the bog standard NHS issue is about 17" wide and suits up to 17 stone approx. No good for the big people so they buy in this chap I like the line "to fit the growing needs of the bariatric community". I never realised I was part of a community. 26" wide seatlooks like you could fit the walton sextuplets in it. Aintree has one similar, and when its requested I bet the porters are fighting over who has the pleasure of pushing it. Anyway I got in and went for a push round the busy outpatients at aintree in it. I bet a few people eat less that night. Several small children developed a fear of big men with beards. Only problem is that I have normal length arms on a bariatric body. 4" too short to self propell. So during my epic escape from x-ray I got up and pushed the thing, with the crutch riding in it.
Spoke to Mr Kerrigans secretary, seems likely that everything will be pushed back by a week. She will call later today to confirm. I have time now to reflect on some of the bits from the hospital stay that I didnt put in. I also thought that the spelling and grammar from the hospital posts was lousy and should I correct it. I have decided I will leave it it has a certain front line quality to it. Besides you try typing on this hunched double under your sheets working by torchlight.
Just can't seem to get motivated this morning, think all my adrenalin was used up yesterday. It feels like I was in hospital for about a week. When in fact it was only 27 hours. Going to try to get back into the right frame of mind this mornin - writing this is strangely therapeutic. It just feels that a load of plans have been turned upside down. My carefully planned "last supper" regime - last week of going to various places with various people (which I really enjoyed), what do I do now? I should be on sips of water for two days then liquidised food for three months or was it six weeks? I gave up alcohol last week, planning only the odd glass of wine on high days and holidays, and now it seems I can drink again (at least for today)....momentary pause while I get the cooking sherry.(JOKE). This is all a bit of a mess really. Val my boss has been on the email, she came to look at my blog and was greeted by an arabic porn site. I would like to reassure all that this is not a design feature, I suggest she reports it to the IT helpdesk. That reminds me, am I off sick on leave or just skulking. Better clarify that with the boss.
tune in tomorrow for the full explanation, I will address concerns from all quarters. Hopefully will know more when surgeon contacts me
will catch up with all posts tomorrow and update as required
At home with family told everyone feel a bit daft. Older generation are angry "how could they mess you about like this" Me jean and ally fairly settled, somebody needed the icu bed more than me.

Wednesday, August 28, 2002

the worst news - I have been cancelled, the staff were gutted telling me, and I got upset again. Mr Kerrigan is still in theatre and will talk to me soon. Looks like nextwednesday now.
Jean and ally just said last goodbyes, I got upset after they went, could be as early as 4 now
seen the anaesthetist - top man one way they reduce the risk of the anaesthethic is to keep you low on pain killers. whoopee dooo. He seems a fun guy. 10 per cent chanced I'll be canceleed as there are currently no ITU beds
nice to see the family involved, ally can keep this up whilst i am too ill. slept for 2 periods of 4 hours,after 2 sleeping pills. awoken with tea and toast at 8, now a long period of waiting. any feedback on this site would be useful to ken.clare@blueyonder.co.uk......later

Tuesday, August 27, 2002

Hi its Ally, Kens daughter. Dads in hospital now. He is having his operation at 4.30 tomorrow. It could still be cancelled at 3pm though! Dad has just spent an hour in X-ray. He had the X-ray in 5 minutes, waited an hour for someone to push him back, then legged it...... well sort of....almost....... oh never mind.
The night staff are really nice, they plied me with tea and toast and told me I can have nore tomorrow. There are 8 patients and two staff here. I think I am in trouble after my xray I waited for 40minutes for a porter to push me b ack in my three person wheelchair. Nobody showed so I lost interest and pushed the chair back myself. Ever the rebel.
I think spelling and grammar have been the first casualties, bad news on the bed front, there aint one. Last weeks big boy is still using it so I am sleeping in a recliner. I have had an ecg normal and BP 144/70. Looking ok. They were worried that the records showed I had gained 110kg since June, fortunately there was a typo. By the way the bed is arriving tommorrow. Night guards have just caught me fiddling under the sheets(with my PC), its just like school again.
Anyway I'll sign off now and talk to you soon. Going to theatre about 3 tomorrow if there is a bed in ITU for me hey ho
well wot a day, I have joined a research project, they need to remove a teaspoon of fat during the op. I feel sure their budget shoulod run to a more appropriate instrujment. The room and hotel services are excellent. Six attempts to get blood out of me. easier to get a pc I would think. Managed to set up an internet connection using my crutch as a wireless aerial. I may have to break transmission at anytime if the guards aappear
And they said they had no internet access well they have now.
bad news just thought I'd check that I could connect to the internet from the sefton suite - and its a no go. Bummer, plan B work offline or planc send daughter home with instructions to post. I suppose mobile phones are out of the question. First setback right off to WHSmith for lousy novel magazines and some batteries.
Peter being the assistant to Frank has an inferior quality chair. Slightly narrower in the width. I spent the entire time thinking I would get stuck and need to be removed by the local fire brigade. A recurrent fear which hopefully will reduce as I do.
Bad news Frank was on holiday, I was dealt with my his miniature assistant Peter, who is very deaf. Not much from a psychotherapy point of view but a good shearing has been given. He wanted to give me a number 2 on the sides number 4 on top. I wasn't up for this so he has taken his revenge by trimming to the bone with scissors. Male pattern baldness has no funny side. My beard has been reduced to a mere mucky smudge on my face, or the appearance of a light frost on my chin. The kitchen shop opposite the barbers was being shut down, an inevitable casualty of the economic downturn I thought. No, the owner had had a row with the pub landlord next door, who trashed his stock with a sledge hammer. Still Peter got a free sink and some "fittings."
Well I woke up late, good job Gordon rang to wish me well. Sorted out some emails and realised anxiety has kicked in. My nerves seem to have settled in the lower half of my body and I am suffering from what polite people may call intestinal hurry. If there is a lull in the onslaught I'm offer to see my barber Frank, who dispenses haircuts and psychotherapy. He has been genuinely worried about my weight for some time. He cant fit past me when I am sat in his antique barbers chair. he thinks I'm off for the gall bladder, as his shop is always full and a full discourse on bariatric surgery has been impossible. I've been going to him on and off for 26 years, as people who know me can testify his psychotherapy is miles better than his haircuts.

Monday, August 26, 2002

I suppose I should say where I am going to spend My Sojourne The Sefton Suite sounds like a nightclub with a function room to me, advertised in the break of a seventies Bond film at the Odeon in town, all hot dog smells and sticky carpets. I mean the cinema not the hospital. Yes its a private hospital but no, I am an NHS patient. I know the below standard care I will be expecting, in fact if its not immediatly forthcoming I'm out of there. My biggest worry so far is will I be able to plug my computer into the phone system. Jean, my wife has tried to persuade to downsize the IT budget for this operation. I have given on the live webcast of the operation but feel some technology is essential. So far considering something I can sneak past the guards in my toilet bag.
Urinary catheters came up too (ooer matron). I thought about all the jokes I made about this procedure. they'll probably use a glass tube with sand to lubricate it. It must be 15 years since I fired one in anger but I guess the gross anatomy or the principle hasn't changed. I wonder will they shave me, When I was doing my general 20 years ago that was my least favourite and most performed procedure. A great leveller, I think its where I acquired my great skill in inane conversation aka polite small talk. Still I need something to look forward to - just read hairloss is a side effect of the operation.
John on the other hand told me this hospital admission was a chance for "patients" to get revenge for all the horrible things I have done to them over the years. We decided worst of all a nasogastric tube. Uncomfortable but not painful. I can remember diligently shoving them up noses with the patient holding their breath only for two foot of tube to come out of their mouth as soon as they breathed. So long as I am asleep when they put it up (or is that down).
Trying to sort things for work - basically a huge list ofthe things I haven't done, I will be popular when that arrives. The remote access server is broke again so I have to use my ordinary email account. After first changing all the email addresses to the new PCT labels.
Several phone calls from mates wishing me well. A couple of lump in the throat moments. That empty uncomfortable silence... well er ....hope it goes well....you'll .....be fine.
Simon was very good he's just had a heart bypass and knows what its about.
Been putting my affairs in order today, sorting out bills and insurance etc. Starts to make you think....Saw my mum she can't possibly come to see me on Wednesday after the op. I feel taller and a strange pride, she cant bear the sight of her first born son in pain.
No, she says I'm going to Llandudno with the pensioners club. I'd rather have Bariatric surgery anyday, anyway - have you been to Llandudno?
The original plan was to keep the surgery secret, tell everyone it was a gall bladder ectomy and that the ten or so stone weight loss was an unexpected bonus. Frank, my long suffering and saintly GP counselled against this. He implied that the more observant of my friends may have already detected a thickening of my girth. He also said lying would make this all the more difficult and I think he was right. I decided to be quite discrete at first but when I got positive vibes I really got a buzz. Most people seem really pleased I am going for it. Now I am thinking I could raise money by having a sweep at work on how many pounds I lose before christmas. Oh by the way gave up booze yesterday, not becoming a teetotaller but thought an acute episode of dt's would impress no one in the hospital, so I chose to have them here instead. I've given up booze every year for lent so the first 40 days should be easy. Yesterday Emma from work got married and I really wanted to go, but chose to have a peaceful night with the family instead. A good decision.
I thought I ought to find some notes or details to help you understand the procedure. This page of stills and video gives a good insight though it may not please the squeamish. Click here for a less sickening diagram of the event, the colours are weird though. This page also contains a before and after shot....but more of them later.

Saturday, August 24, 2002

If you want to understand any of this stuff you need a bit of background. Firstly we big people dont deal in pounds and stones, nope its the kilogram for us. Cunningly designed to stop you remembering how heavy you are. Its difficult to visualise yourself as x bags of sugar. To further complicate things BMI (body mass index) is a crucial measure. Have a look here at how to measure it lapband
So Bariatric - whats that then - the dictionary definition says "The branch of medicine concerned with the management of obesity Origin: G. Baros, weight, + iatreia, medical treatment. I am overweight, very overweight, I started as plain obese, graduated to the class of the morbid obese and now am at the top of the shop in the "super obese" class. I haven't been happy about this for some time and having been trying to do something about it. 2 years plus at a weight management clinic, a long up and down road of dietitians, endocrinologists, physiotherapy, psychotherapy and surgeons. on wednesday I am going into hospital for an opertion to help me lose weight.
The catchingly named Roux-en-Y bypass takes place late on wednesday 28th.
Saturday - Post curry feeling, will it be the last one ever. Only 3 more days till I go into hospital, 8 meals at best, what should they be? Dim sum tonight and what to drink ...champagne I think. Only felt like running away 21 times today.